Hello. I <3 my blue socks! :D
警察叔叔 says that I must not write too much about myself because it is very dangerous for innocent girls like me! :D

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Floorball is a sport that I held close to my heart because I always played it during P.E. lesson, in primary school...

The classrooms on the 6th storey, small-sized chairs, clean tables, whiteboard, it is still so vivid in my mind. The hall, canteen and the stalls that only sold food that is less than $1.50. The floorball sticks, nets, balls, I could still feel the atmosphere of the game. I could still remember when it was during P.E. lesson. We grouped ourselves. I was with my other 4 best friends. We were waiting anxiously on the floor of the hall, hoping that Mr Guna would point at our group. 'Me! Me!' His index finger was in a dilemma, whether to choose which groups, all the groups were excited to be in the game. 'Yes!' Our group was up! We went to take the floorball stick with pride. In our positions, Mr Guna blew his whistle, the game started. Till now, that game was still fresh in my mind. It feels like the game was yesterday. The anxiety in the atmosphere, the cheers when we emerged winners and the amazing teamwork and effort. I would never forget.

But things had changed, there were no cheers anymore, only jeers, there were no anxiety anymore, only disappointment.

I saw the same sport again on Friday. The floorball nets, sticks and balls. I was over the moon. I thought I could get a taste of the victorious game again. Hence, I played floorball with them. We were split in 2 groups. They started the game. I was very enthusiastic. I chased after the ball, hoping to regain the triumph feeling. However, I didn't feel it, not even a sweet feeling.

'Can you be more 'enthu'?'
'I am enthusiastic!'

'Walao eh! Can you pass the ball properly?'
'I'm sorry. It's just that my skills 'deproved' because I haven't played it for 2 years already. I'm sure I-'
'Sure lose already 'lah''

'How can they say that!' I thought furiously. I gritted my teeth. Simultaneously, I felt rejected and dejected. I felt like I was the 'odd one out'. I felt vey lonely at that instance. I had an strong impulse to cry but I held it. I felt so weak, mentally. I felt that I was too naive. Things would never have been the same. Things changed. I could probably never play a floorball game like I did in the past, with so much happiness and enthusiastism in the air and victory. Never. I wanted to just walked off. But I don't know why, I just couldn't.

In the end, everyone didn't had a smile on the face. Thus, they ended the game with anger and unsatisfaction. I was despised because of my floorball skills. I was once a floorball player with skills that was still acceptable. But now, I was despised of it. It didn't feel good. I felt like a failure. I felt that all my pride and glory was gone. I felt all those years of training to be an average floorball player were wasted. I pondered over what's the meaning of having those childish and naive childhood when you had to experience the harshness of reality. Why not just let us experience the scarey realtity instead of letting us enjoy our ideal environment and then get really hurt when you know it was just part of your 'dreams'. I kept telling myself after the game, 'Get over it RouShan! Be Brave!' But I can't do it. Sorrow was all over me.

Whenever, I think of it, I would get emotionally drained.

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